I Can Scare You

If you're a tenth grader, I know how to scare you. It only takes one word:

BOARDS!

Okay, that was low. Sorry. You don't have to cower behind your chairs. I'll try not to terrify you any further in this post.

Since I'm writing my board exams in March, it's naturally a topic that often crops up in conversations, at school and at home. Equally naturally, I really prefer to avoid the topic unless absolutely necessary, like when a teacher is invoking the marking scheme. Which happens only about three hundred and ninety four times a day. Yay.

Quick show of hands here: how many of you are nervous?

I'm just swooning from surprise at that response.

(Those of you who've finished tenth grade, or written engineering/medicine entrance tests- don't sneer. It's not like you guys were any better when YOU wrote tenth.)

Maybe it's because of the hype. Everyone seems to be an expert on tenth grade.

Teachers: Colleges will look for your tenth grade marks, if you don't do well now, your chances of getting into a good college are low.

Parents: You need to study more, these exams are very important. Colleges and even potential employers will ask for your tenth grade marks.

Indulgent relatives: If you get these many marks, I'll buy you something.

Older friends/cousins: Oh, you're in tenth grade now? *snicker* Poor you. You're so totally going to suffer. I hope there's cake at your funeral.

Random people you literally just met: Oh, tenth grade? *clucking noises* Very important, you have to do well. Otherwise you won't get a good job, and you won't be able to buy a posh car or go on holidays.

Hey guys- especially those last two categories- YOU'RE NOT HELPING.

There are different ways kids react to all this, and unfortunately none of them are very positive.

I'm bringing back some of the kids of When Our Boggarts Are The Same As Hermione's to show what I mean.

Kid 1: Board exams soon? That's not very nice. I don't really feel like studying. All these people talking is confusing me. I'll just go do something else- oh, this looks interesting! *rewatches Ariana Grande music videos on YouTube*

Kid 2: OH MY GOODNESS board exams are soon I need to memorise all of my textbooks, okay concentrate, concentrate, a mole is a unit of counting that represents six point two three into ten to the power of twenty three particles such as atoms or molecules- wait does that include ions? And this is just part of one small chapter in the syllabus, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!

Kid 5: Okay, a couple of months ago, I said that exams were "confusion's masterpiece", right? I need to add on to that, the horror that neither tongue nor heart cannot conceive nor name is...*gulp*...boards.

Kid 6: Exams are okay and all, but OH MY, boards are another thing altogether! My cousins are being horrible and completely scaring me, they're apparently super tough, my parents want to send me for tuitions, I've NEVER gone for two-hour-long tuition classes in three different subjects, I'm so scared!

Kid 7: That's it. I'm done. I thought my brain exploded a couple of months ago, but I was wrong. It just kind of collapsed. Now it's been blown up with crates of TNT. Look, if I tilt my head, you can see dust- the remains of my brain- pouring out of my ear.

Results during preboards?

Kid 1 sucks. Kid 2 messes up answers they knew because they were so panicky. Kid 5 does okay but not great because of nervousness. Kid 6 doesn't know some stuff because while studying their cousins' voices were playing on a loop and they couldn't absorb the material. Kid 7 sucks.

Basically, nobody does well. And that stresses everyone out even more.

It's a vicious cycle that nobody comes out happy in- not the teachers, not the parents, and certainly not the kids themselves.

Sometimes I imagine the people on the curriculum boards clad in black robes, sitting around a conference table in a darkened room, plotting difficult exam questions and formats as the leader of the board committee sits at the head of the table, laughing manically and encouraging the others while sipping blood-red liquid from a crystal champagne glass.

Which means that I picture them as the Death Eaters and Voldemort drinking some creepy dark wizard drink (probably invented by Grindelwald) that I don't even want to know about.

Such a cheery daydream.

I'm sorry. I have no advice whatsoever because I have not "been there done that" like dealing with homesickness.

So just, I guess...good luck. We can do this.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH US.